Why Looking For Good Prospects Is Useless

– UNLESS you Know What To Say

From Tom ‘Big Al’ Schreiter’s most recent newsletter:

If you have talked to all of your friends, and they tell you “No,” … and if you have talked to all of your relatives, and they told you they were not interested … finding new prospects to ruin isn’t the answer.

You don’t need new people to ruin.

You need to change what you say.

If your best prospects (family and friends) hated what you said, then strangers won’t like what you say any better.

* Buying 1,000 names of new prospects to ruin isn’t the answer.

* Joining 20 networking clubs isn’t the answer.

* Running ads isn’t the answer.

* Working harder isn’t the answer.

The answer is you have to learn what to say.

~~ Here are a few things you can do:

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How To Speak, How To Listen 2

Yesterday I cited Mortimer J. Adler’s book How to Speak How to Listen where the author paired the communication skills of writing with reading and speaking with listening. Mr. Adler also wrote that the pair of speaking and listening is more difficult to acquire than the reading and writing pair. Here’s why.

Superficially, the two pairs appear to be parallel since both involve language and both are used to connect one mind to another. Yet there is a very fundamental difference between the two pairs and that difference is fluidity, immediacy and fluency.

The written word was invented to be read, to be more or less permanent. Consider when something is written. It can be gone over and edited before it is released to be read. The communication is not immediate; there is always a time lag between the writing and the reading. This pair, when compared to speaking and listening, is static, resembling painting and sculpture rather than a performing art such as acting or dancing.

When communication is spoken and listened to one is not able to go back and change what has been said and listened to. We can correct ourselves when we have misspoken but it is not so easy to forget our first and immediate impression of the performance — despite what judges tell juries to do!

‘Speaking and Listening’ has the element of ‘Standing and Delivering’ to it. This similarity may explain to a large degree why Network Marketers need these skills and also why they are very uncomfortable using them, lending insight as to why so many struggle. ~~~

While I enthusiastically recommend Mr. Adler’s book How to Speak How to Listen , he does use a lot of examples from the classical world making the book rather academic. If you are a network marketer or in conventional sales, looking to improve your commercial speaking and listening skills you can’t do any better than Tom ‘Big Al’ Schreiter. You can find a list of his 25 Essential Skills for Network Marketers at http://BigAlSkills.com and sign up for his newsletter at http://FortuneNow.com at no cost.

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How to Speak, How To Listen

Picking up on a recent post where I said that speaking and listening  were the two most essential tools a Network Marketer must have, let me share some insights into these skills.

How to Speak How to Listen, a book written almost 30 years ago by Mortimer J. Adler, offers some of those insights. Beginning with the obvious pairing of reading skills with those of writing and then speaking with listening, Mr. Adler makes this distinction: The first pair is much easier to teach and learn than the second pair.

This is counter-intuitive and surprising. Most of us would assume that our writing and reading abilities are more difficult to learn, requiring formal classroom experience and a string of professional teachers spanning years. When we consider that our speaking and listening skills are inborn necessities that are developed first in the home, we usually think of learning them as easy as learning to eat. (Mom usually being our first teacher, there is a very good reason each one of us has a language we call our ‘mother tongue’.)

Furthermore, most of us assume that if one has learned to write and read well, that person would of course know how to speak and listen well. Mr. Adler states that simply is not the case.

And the reason, simply put, has to do with fluidity. And fluency.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While I enthusiastically recommend Mr. Adler’s book How to Speak How to Listen,  he does use a lot of examples from the classical world making the book rather academic. If you are a network marketer or in sales, looking to improve your commercial speaking and listening skills you can’t do any better than Tom ‘Big Al’ Schreiter. You can find a list of his 25 Essential Skills for Network Marketers at http://BigAlSkills.com and sign up for his newsletter at http://FortuneNow.com at no cost.

 

 

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